The Possibilities of ME

I am totally going to have to do a Facebook fast for a few days! See, as part of my new plan to Love ME, I am taking this amazing e-course called Bloom True with Flora Bowley! She makes these incredibly awesome paintings. Check out this video of her in action!

Class actually started Monday, but the Facebook group opened last Thursday. Basically I’ve been on Facebook since then, chatting with this beautiful bunch of people from all over the world who are gathered together to bravely, intuitively create.

We’ve been posting pictures of our studios/art rooms/spaces, our supplies, our alters, our hopes and excitement for this course. We’ve been sharing our previous work and the first stages of our new creations. It has been a blast!!

I keep checking my page and “liking” and “friending” and commenting on everything!!  I literally sat here at my computer from 2:00pm until 8:00 today. I think I’m getting carpal tunnel and I’m tired of sitting :)

Here are some pics of my canvases after my first lesson.

 Splatter and Spray

Splatter and Spray

This is canvas #1-paint splattered on it while listening to Philip Philips Home.

I sprayed it with water and made it run, which was really cool! I kinda wish I would have stopped at this point, but the blobs of paint bothered me, so I kept squirting them and they kept running until eventually all the paint ran off the canvas and I was left with this....

 Lovely Sunset Background

Lovely Sunset Background

My new mantra of F#@% Perfection should have kicked in before I got crazy with the water bottle, but I remember now, come to the conclusion that at least I learned how to create a beautiful sunset background. Pat myself on the back for coming up with such a positive interpretation of this experience ('cause that wasn't what almost came out of my mouth when I told my husband about it.)

Canvas #2, was finger painting!!! I put on Touch the Sky, from the soundtrack of the Disney movie Braveand a BLINDFOLD!—and allowed myself to totally let go and dance to the music, smearing paint as I went. My Inner-Child was having a delirious time doing this!!! Here is how it came out...

 (Finger) Paint Dancing

(Finger) Paint Dancing

One of my classmates pointed out to me that it looks like a big red happy faced rabbit. My husband said the red handprint on the left reminded him of Wilson, from Castaway

With those things in mind, I sat back to see what I could see...and I Saw something. I'm not gonna tell you what yet. That would ruin the surprise :)

Being in this painting class, along with the other two classes I’m taking—Marked by the Muse, with Cosmic Cowgirls; and Book of Days, art journaling with Effy Wild—I am working alongside some amazing women!

Artists, poets, painters…they all seem to be so much more talented than me (I fear.) Their spreads are gorgeous. Their poems are deep and insightful. They paintings are vibrant and alive with color!

I went through a very dark period at the end of last week where I was seriously doubting my abilities. Like, “boo hoo woe-is-me, will I ever be able to do that?!” doubting.

Have you ever done that? Just wondered if you would ever be good enough?? Brave enough?? Pinched yourself up small and tight?

And then, there was this moment…I was watching a video blog done by a new friend in one of my classes, Wild Bella Rouge, and suddenly it hit me—and I do mean HIT! It felt like a cosmic smack in the head, lol.

These women are showing me WHAT IS POSSIBLE. They aren’t doing what they do to make me see my faults, lack of ability, lack of talent, cowardice—I’m doing that to myself!! I had this major shift happen, right in the center of my solar plexus, and my heart opened wide and I Saw that

they are showing me what I can do, if I would only do what I can do.

They are an inspiration!! That is a subtle, but powerful mind-shift. I’m saying I want to be a painter, an art journalist, a writer…and the universe is showing me all the fabulous examples of women doing just that! Being creative, being intuitive, being brave. The Universe is trying to tell me,

YES! You can do this!! Look, See, she did it! You can too!!

Instead of being small and feeling sorry for myself, I should look at what these other women are doing and REJOYCE!!!

And say, “Me, too!, Me, too!!! What do I need to know to do that, too?!!!!” And then follow the trail that appears….

Shining brightly!!!!!

Kathy